When it comes to feeding my Tiny Traveler on-the-go, I’ve had some rough times!  Working without highchairs, booster seats or even proper utensils, can really throw a new travel momma for a loop! I’ve been forced to feed Lucian many meals while sitting on the ground, balancing her on my lap while trying to not to drop her AND attempting to get food in her mouth, and I’ve spent countless hours chasing her around while bribing her to sit still to eat. I’ve even fed my kid lunch while sitting on a toilet at a rest stop, because it was the only place to sit that wasn’t in a river of pee. So gross!

Dedicated to making you feel NORMAL, showing you that you’re NOT alone in travel fails and even giving you a couple of good laughs along the way, I’m happy to share a SHORT list of my recent Travel Food Flops with you, and even a few tips to help you avoid these food fails. Enjoy!

Mystery Stink

Many snacks (and even meals) are consumed by my Tiny Traveler, in the backseat of my car. Periodically…ok, ALL the time…my car smells like I’m hiding a dead body in the trunk, due to my poor choices of snacks.

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Last week I found a rotten strawberry, floating like a alien specimen, in a sippy cup of spoiled milk. Ew..I’m not even sure how that happened!

Tip: I decide if Lucian can have the snack in the car based on how long it will take to turn into a reeking stink bomb, when left unattended in the sun. If it will stink after sitting out for more than 2 days, we don’t eat it in the car.

Rub It In

I’ve learned that some foods are good choices for when you have to eat an “airport picnic” on the floor, and some….not so much. For example, mashed potatoes quickly turn into finger paint for smearing on a Delta terminal floors, within one second of unsupervised time. I may or may not have rubbed the excess potato into the carpet and hoped nobody would notice.

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Tip: Stay away from wet foods when dining on the floor. If it falls on the floor and you can’t “5 Second Rule” it, pick it back up and eat it. Just skip it all together.

Frozen Fail

Ice Cream = Bad. Don’t do it. Pass. Get a new idea!

Unless you want to wear a pistachio gelato t-shirt for 16 hours OR WORSE, drop Double Chocolate Dream down your pants, not notice it, then walk around the mall for an hour with “crap” stains, say no to ice cream!

Tip: Stick to donuts, cookies or even bit-sized candy instead.

Hu NOT Palace

Recently, I thought fried rice would be solid decision for eating picnic style on the floor of my hotel room, because naturally, hotel rooms don’t have highchairs. Turns out when you eat rice while sitting on the floor, your kiddo might think that the cardboard to-go container is a SANDBOX and proceed to crawl all over it, toss it in the air like it’s snowing rice or even build small castle out of it.

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Tip: Skip foods that look like toys.

Golden Garbage

When I’m traveling by car, I’m often tempted to swing into the famous arches to get a quick meal but reader be warned! Those mystery meat burgers and not-so-chicken nuggets, can flip the digestive track of a child, upside down, in a split second. Don’t get me wrong, our family visits the Golden Garbage Can regularly when we are in a pinch, but the squirts are soon to follow for my little. Get ready for a blow out!

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Tip: Make sure you’re almost to your destination before making that dicey move.

Drink Up

Drinks while traveling can be really risky business. From the obvious things like spills, stains and extra pee, to the not-so-obvious things like leaky sippy cups, sugar overload and bottles morphing into squirt guns, drinks are tough! I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve found the most foul, putrid old bottles floating around in my luggage or car! Weeks…even MONTHS old!

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Tip: Invest in a REAL, spill proof sippy cup! Not the dollar store, cheap-o, mom on a budget type. Trust me, I’ve tried all of those, and they’re a waste. Get one that’s built for off-roading!

Tip Part 2: Only water! In the car, or in the air, stick to water! It doesn’t stain, it’s hydrating and everyone around you will thank you when your purse doesn’t smell like a cabbage fart from a spoiled milk concoction leaking out.

So, when all else fails, remember that when you get home, you can serve up some nutrition. For now…just do the best you can! We’re all in this together…one Twinkie dinner, in the car, at a time! 😉