So the saying goes….you should never wear white after Labor Day.

But seriously now, who can pass up an adorable white cotton sundress in late September? Well, not this mom. I saw this cute, bright white dress on the rack at my favorite baby fashionista boutique and the famous last words left my mouth, “Lucian is going to be a STAR in this dress.”

I was doomed.

Let me paint the picture…

Lucian and I are staying in a fabulous Las Vegas mega resort and for those of you who haven’t been to a Las Vegas hotel, each individual hotel is about the size of an average American city! To simply go from your hotel room to the casino is at least 6,000 miles of walking and thirteen blisters!

So, Lucian and I are heading out for a fancy banquet dinner, and being the seasoned travel mom I think I am, I carefully pack up the diaper bag, wrestle my squirmy baby into her stroller and depart for the 20 minute walk to the banquet room. No joke- 20 minutes! We arrive unscathed and my beautiful twinkle eyed baby is ready to debut her snazzy new dress and greet all of her fans. I reach in to scoop her up and almost as if it was in slow motion, my hand slides into a giant exploded diaper underneath her.

Awesome.

As I mentioned, I’m 6,000 miles away from my room, so there is no going back, but no worries, I’m prepared! I saddle up her diaper bag like I’m headed to war and my brave friend Liz, Lucian and I head off to the bathroom for a quick diaper change. When we arrive the bathroom, I discover four small problems.

1. I have no wipes in the expertly packed diaper bag.
2. The sink is motion activated (Yea – Let that sink into your mind a minute!)
3. The white dress is now green and there is no saving it.
4. I’m wearing poop like a Girl Scout sash.

*Sigh*

Once I strip off the now GREEN dress (and throw it away), I proceed to try to give Lucian a bath in the motion activated sink. If you’ve ever just tried to wash your HANDS in this kind of sink, then you know what this challenge is like. Using this kind of sink looks like you are preforming an array of bad magic tricks just trying to get the sensor to “see” you. Now imagine doing those bad magic tricks, with the butt of your baby, while gagging from stench and peeing your pants laughing. Yup – literally peeing your pants. Thank you childbirth for that gift that keeps on giving.

Although I’m struggling, Lucian thinks this is a super fun waterpark and is splashing soapy poop water all over! After many rounds of trying to get the faucet to stay on long enough to rinse the poop soap off, drying her her little butt with motion activated sandpaper towel and washing my own dress, we were back in action!

Here are the four lessons I learned from this:

1. Never leave without wipes.
2. Never leave without wipes.
3. NEVER LEAVE WITHOUT WIPES!
4. Don’t wear white after Labor Day!

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